Thursday, April 5, 2012

What Would You Do For Coachella Tickets?

The first weekend of Coachella is only 8 days away! Of course, if you weren't part of the lucky group of people who managed to snag a ticket before they sold out in only three hours back in January, you're probably going to have to pay a pretty hefty premium. With the huge lineup of popular artists this year, there's a very robust black market for those who took a shotgun to their laptops after sitting on Goldenvoice's holding page for an hour and coming up empty. Let's take a look at the various, and often wacky, options that people are pursuing to get their hands on some highly sought after wristbands.

You Snooze, You Pay
I've tried waking up early to get on the internet and purchase concert tickets before, and I swear, everyone else has a magical ticket sniping robot except for me because at 15 seconds after 8:00 am, all the good tickets are gone. But not all hope of seeing your favorite band is completely lost, because about 80% of these tickets get put back on the scalping market almost immediately. A quick Craigslist search will bring up about 1,000 listings, all selling Coachella tickets at an often insane premium. I think that's what Mitt Romney is talking about when he praises American-style capitalism. Take it from the idiot above trying to unload his wristbands at a staggering 300% markup: "EVERYTHING IS LEGIT", although dude is seemingly not 2 legit 2 quit his job in order to make the show.

The Straight-Up Trade
Desperately wanting to see your favorite bands at probably the coolest music festival in the world will get you to start thinking outside the box. Last year, there were reports about a barely used Blackberry, an Xbox 360, Taylor Swift tickets and a Nintendo Wii being offered up for trade in exchange for some Coachella tickets. All of those were pretty lame (especially the Taylor Swift tickets– no offense, Tay-Tay), but this year you'll have to up your game and offer up tickets to an equally drug-fueled summer festival in exchange for those Coachella passes. And then, of course, there's the greatest non-financial trade offer of all time:

The I'll-Do-Just-About-Anything Trade
Some of the more desperate but cash-lean folks on Craigslist are already promising to do just about anything to get a Coachella pass. One poster even offered medical services:
"I am a board-certified primary care MD in the Manhattan Beach and West LA area, and an avid music fan. I will trade Medical Care Services for Coachella weekend 1 and/or weekend 2 GA passes and car camping passes. Lemme know what you need, and lets see if we can strike up a deal. As you know, medical care is UNGODLY expensive, so so this could be HUGELY in your favor, financially." 
Umm, unless you spent your heart medicine money on Coachella passes, this deal is only financially in favor of Dr. Manhattan; plus, what kind of doctor can't afford tickets on their own? That's right, the shady kind. Another Craigslist post offered up a "good kidney".
"Give me 2 coachella passes I give you 1 kidney. Plain and Simple."
At current black market rates, your kidney should be worth passes for BOTH weekends.

You're Kidding Me, Right?
When it comes to hard to find tickets, you've got scalpers, and then you've got this guy asking $90,000 for one Coachella ticket.

I'm really not even sure what to make of this. It might have been the Craigslist equivalent of a drunk text.

This post was originally written by me for Guest of a Guest L.A.

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