CARmageddon will descend upon Los Angeles this weekend, closing a considerable stretch of the 405 freeway, the busiest freeway in the nation, for TWO WHOLE DAYS!! Hide your wife, hide your kids and hide your husbands too because closing down the 405 freeway is just short of making the earth explode.
If you thought L.A. drivers were bad with a little bit of rain, wait until they're all forced to use the side streets for two days. This will leave many drivers stranded as they have never bothered to figure out how to get around town using the local roads. It's "the highway or no way."
What will we do without the ability to travel to the other side of Los Angeles for two days?! Have no fear. I've put together a CARmageddon survival kit so that we can successfully overcome this crippling inconvenience.
Here is a list, in no particular order, of important items that you should have in your survival kit to prevent premature death from the inability to drive across town.
1.) A book. For those born in the internet generation, a book is a collection of pages containing words, that are bound together. People used to read books to gain knowledge or entertain themselves for hours on end. This is how knowledge and entertainment was spread before the invention of radio, television and the internet. You can find a book at many local establishments called bookstores or libraries. There, you will find many books that you can read over the CARmageddon weekend.
2.) A pair of sneakers. This leather and rubber contraption goes around your feet to protect them from the harsh environment while you step outside for an activity called "a walk". There are many places that you can "walk" to. One of my favorite examples is the local park, where you can gather with friends and "play".
3.) A ziplock bag. This plastic bag can be used to carry many things, including chips, pretzels or a sandwich, to be used when you go on your "walk" to the local park. Before the invention of the internet, people used to bring food to a park and have what is called a "picnic". You can use your ziplock bag to try out the archaic practice of "picnicking in the park".
4.) A BBQ grill. You can use a BBQ grill to make food in your backyard or at a block party. It can be used in a similar fashion to when you stay home for a holiday weekend such as the 4th of July, Memorial Day or Labor Day, to name a few.
5.) A remote control. A remote control can be used to manipulate the television so that you can watch something that you enjoy, just like you do for hours on end on any other weekend.
If you're not able to assemble the CARmageddon survival kit in time, you can always resort to doing what you do every day at work: troll Facebook for 8 hours, assuming that the closing of the 405 freeway didn't destroy the power grids too.
Please don't be like children this weekend and feel like you have to go across town just because you're told you can't. Take the time to relax and spend quality time with your family or get to know your local neighborhood better. I wish they would shut down the 405 freeway once a month. I've never before seen more people want to get together for dinner parties or gatherings. It takes the closing of a major freeway to shock people into interacting with their fellow human beings the old fashioned way: face to face.
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