I thought the new cell phone laws were put in place so that the roads would be safer, with less distracted drivers, but I see more distracted drivers than ever. How are all of these people getting away with driving and using their cell phones? I decided to do some research and get to the bottom of this.
Upon completion of my research, I discovered that there were some loop holes in California's cell phone laws. Allow me to illustrate my findings with some photos and descriptions.
Fig. 1
California law prohibits all drivers from using a handheld wireless telephone while operating a motor vehicle, as depicted above. If a police officer sees you doing this, he will issue you a ticket.
Fig. 2
The law continues to say that motorists 18 and over may use a "hands-free" device. This explains why I see so many people using a cell phone in the way depicted above. The driver is clearly using a "hands-free" device called the "speaker-phone". Notice the cell phone is not up against the driver's ear. Although your hands are not technically "free", you are using a "hands-free" function of your cellphone and you will NOT receive a ticket from a police officer should he see you using this "hands-free" technique.
Fig. 3
California's newest law makes it an infraction to write, send or read text-based communication on an electronic wireless communications device, such as a cell phone, while driving a motor vehicle, as depicted above. Should a police officer see you texting while driving, he will issue you a ticket.
Fig. 4
The first lesson that we learned as a child was that "if you didn't see me do it, then I am innocent." This explains why I see so many drivers texting while driving in the manner depicted above. If the police officer cannot see you texting, then you have not broken any rules. Texting while driving is only illegal when a police officer catches you doing it. Keep your texting activities below the horizontal plane of the bottom of the window frame and you will be operating within the confines of the law. Nevermind that your eyes aren't on the road; a cell phone ticket is expensive! The road isn't going anywhere. We don't have to keep watching it.
Conclusion:
I hope you've gained some valuable knowledge on California's cell phone laws. Feel free to reference this blog post should an officer insist on giving you a ticket while you were using your cell phone with the "no ticket" techniques listed above.
I can't convince you that your Facebook status, Twitter update, text message or phone call is not important and can wait until you've arrived at your destination, but I can tell you that 80% of all traffic crashes involved some form of driver distraction.
The best way to not get caught is to not do it at all. Please help keep our roads safe by putting away your cell phone when driving.
Disclaimer: This blog post was written as a parody. Please do not reference this site when you are pulled over by the police. Although, if referencing this site gets you out of a ticket, please let me know. k thx.
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